38 weeks

-Report from Dr.'s visit on Tuesday: I am strep B positive, probably not really a big deal but i don't think i was with Caitlin and i couldn't quite remember so i thought i would document it. Everything is looking good and I am about 1.5 dilated. He said i would be ready for induction for next week if I wanted (at about 39 weeks) but i've decided to keep holding out and see if I go into labor on my own. I've made it past this week at least... we'll see what the next one brings!
-I have had some contractions, but not super painful ones. Pretty big ones though where i can tell that it is a legitimate contraction. One night I had three that woke me up but not close together.
-I have had a nasty cold/allergies/sinus infection going on for about a week plus so i finally went and got on an antibiotic for it and hopefully it will go away soon! Nothing like wanting to hold a brand new baby when you're sick.
-Most of my other physical ailments pregnancy symptoms have stayed the same, or gotten worse so instead let's talk about FEELINGS... (feel free to skip down to my belly pic now, i'm kinda emotional)
I'm not really nervous. For anything... delivery, having two kids, Caitlin's reaction... i have a good feeling about everything. Which actually just that fact alone makes me a little nervous because that makes me think that i am forgetting so many things about delivery and having a newborn that are hard that i just don't remember them to be nervous about them. (that was confusing i know) Overall I am ready to have this baby. I feel like i am ready to NOT be pregnant anymore and ready to put my body through the amazing thing we call the birthing process and ready to see what this little boy looks like and ready to snuggle a little newborn bundle. However with all that being said: I'm ready but i'm still clinging a little to this family-of-three life that i know and love.

I heard a talk one time at a church thing from a couple that had been through a lot in their lives, lots of changes and different stages of life and they said that an important thing is that once you get into a new stage, you realize that it is your "new normal" and you make it that way. Things that once were normal and everyday will change when there is something new in the mix and it is our chance to embrace those new things and make them normal and realize that life ebbs and flows and moves along and if we don't embrace and accept the new things that life throws at us, then we will never allow ourselves to progress. That idea has really helped me through the stages that i have experienced so far. It has given me courage to look at my circumstances and make the most of different points in my life and adapt and make them my "new normal" opposed to just waiting it out or clinging to the past or wishing for something else.
So, if change and a new normal mean getting to hold a precious little boy in my arms and snuggle him and feel his softest baby skin and feel the amazing connection that mom and baby have and see how cute Paul is with him and go back to swaddles and baby smell and spit up and tiny wrinkly feet... then I'm in. And I will embrace it whole-heartedly because knowing what to expect is definitely a blessing, because i know it just keeps getting better and better.