one week old

We survived the first week. And i literally mean survived. I'm not saying that in a super-depressed-post-partum way. Just in a i-forgot-things-about-having-a-newborn-and-its-overwhelming-with-two-kids kind of way. Just keeping it real. There were some highs and some lows. But of course being the over-detailed documenter that i am i want to remember all of it so here goes:

Let's get the "LOWS" out of the way:
-When we left the hospital, Nolan tested a tiny bit high for the bilirubin jaundice test. So they wanted us to take him back two days later to be tested again. I wasn't too worried about it until we got him home and he started acting super lethargic. So we got all nervous about it and put him on a strict schedule of eating every three hours during the day and every 4 hours at night. He was super sleepy and never woke up on his own to eat so it was a long process every time. He just wasn't that interested ever. We also had him take naps and sit by the sunlight through the window and that was basically all we could do. We took him back after 2 days and his levels had increased. Very disheartening. So we kept with the same schedule and tactics and took him back two days later. Luckily by then his levels were going down so he didn't require further testing, and he was getting a lot better about eating.
-I have definitely had LOTS of emotional moments, between feeling super overwhelmed to feeling like I'm not giving Caitlin enough attention. Also just being overly tired and feeling like I need to nap every spare moment i get. I've had a few meltdowns and I have honestly been surprised at just what an emotional transition this has been for me.
-Lastly: the stomach bug attack. Originally Cassie got sick with what we all thought was food poisoning but apparently it was more than that and it was contagious. My mom caught it on Monday and got sick a few days ago which was a bummer for her and us. She went to stay at my sister's to get over it and I got my first real dose of being all alone at home with two kids.

 So here were the "HIGHS":
-My dad showed up on my doorstep and surprised me on Saturday! I was shocked. Chelsea had found him a good deal on flights for the weekend so he came up to see his first grandson and i was so glad that he did. Its so hard being away from family at times like this, it kills me that so many of our family members haven't met Nolan yet! It was fun having my dad here, probably not his most adventure packed trip but he was so nice and even took a night shift for me to help get Nolan back to sleep twice after he ate and after he wet through his pajamas, swaddleme AND blanket so he did get a little excitement in there :) 
-We've had a few other visitors come by, including neighbors and friends and it's been fun to show him off and visit with people.
-In general, Caitlin is being a trooper. She LOVES the baby and always asks where he is and wants to hold him and give him kisses. This is such a blessing because i want her to be excited about him and not be jealous. It's a little rough at times because she still needs to learn to be gentle and not maul him and i can't leave them alone or even close together. She has been super dramatic: if she's happy she is bouncing off the walls and if she is sad she is having a fit. But we will learn. And she is a cute big sister.  
-My recovery has gone well too. Other than the emotional roller-coaster and feeling tired I physically feel really good and I'm excited to keep getting better, and smaller.
-My highest "high" is just this little angel:

He really is such an angel baby. He RARELY cries. Maybe once or twice a day do I hear a real cry out of him. Even when he is being pestered by Caitlin or blown on and wiggled and stripped naked to be woken up to eat. He has such a pleasant and content demeanor and a gentle soul. Everyone who has come to visit has said the same thing. He is just chill and easy going (just like i predicted). Obviously things can and will change but i can feel that he has such a good and happy spirit and I am so grateful. His easy going and ever-pleasing nature has made all his little tests and dramas and the little low spots so much more bearable. He is such a dream.