on having 2 kids.. six months in

Here's a "my blog is my journal" really real moment, so feel free to scroll down to more pics if you'd like. 

My baby boy is six months old. STOP. Seriously? My baby is half way to completing the first year of his life? Halfway done being a full-on baby? I knew that time went by faster once you had kids, but I didn't know it kept getting faster the more kids you have!! 

I'm seriously emotional just thinking about what that could mean. 

I'm not going to completely lie and say that being a mother of two has been an easy or seamless transition for me. It's been hard... harder than I thought it would be. I feel like nowadays I've got things down pretty well. I can get out of the house close to on time, I can run errands and keep my kids alive and (most of the time) happy and I even sometimes do fun things with them and see them learning things and growing up right before my eyes. I do feel really good about my life, I absolutely love being a mom and I know what I am doing is a very important work. That being said... being a mom is HARD. I still have hard days, and when both kids are screaming or Caitlin is throwing a fit right while I'm trying to help Nolan with something I just have to think to myself "ok, this will all be settled in 5 minutes.. 5 minutes from now I will have solved the problem and both kids will be fine. This current craziness is only temporary." That's what I have told myself for the past 6 months every time I have a moment that I want to pull my hair out and cry with them I just think "This is only temporary. Figure it out and it will be done."

One thing that has hit me though is how truly temporary it all is. Not just the crazy fit-throwing moments but also all the good and amazing moments. Those moments when I'm thinking "I love this, I love them, please never end." But they do. Every stage of life is so fleeting. Just when I adjust to one, it's gone and we are onto another stage with the kids and life just chugs along. All things come to an end. The night time feedings and never ending diaper changes, and other things that you thought you'd never get through but you do. They end. And then in a weird way you look back and think how much you miss them. Or maybe that you didn't soak up that time enough.

I feel like an old person writing all this but these are my thoughts. I want to live life with no regrets, i want my husband and my sweet kiddos to know how much i love them, and that even though being a  mom is hard work, its the most amazing job ever and I wouldn't trade spending my time with these precious little souls for anything. The wonderful moments and days far outweigh the bad ones, and that makes it all worth it.